This piece reconsiders a decision that I made when I was a junior in high school- whether or not to have chest surgery. I remember in the process of making this change what I had to overcome was this worry that I would gain some insight or confidence that would help me be at home in a body that had breasts, and therefore regret the surgery. Ultimately I decided that I was fortunate enough to have this option available to me and I had the overwhelming certainty that it was the right thing for me at that time. I pictured myself in the future taking care of me, and allowing me to make the changes that I needed to make to my body in order to feel okay.
It was a time that I was trying to find my bearings, and understand my body from within a second puberty of my own making. I was trying to consider what these changes meant for me, at the same time as trying to figure out if I wanted them to happen at all.